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[催眠控制] 【被一双拖鞋催眠的温柔妈妈和OL姐姐】(千雨悬赏)

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怎么说呢,用拖鞋催眠确实很新颖,有别于传统的催眠手短,作者大胆创新的思想值得赞许。但是节奏进展的实在太快了,确实短篇大多数都是快枪文,还是希望能做一下前文的铺垫和引入,不要一上来就脱裤子就干。主角什么时候开始对自己的母亲产生想法?什么因素促使主角行动?又是通过什么渠道和手段获得拖鞋?这些都没有提到。看这种直接上肉的文章总给我看的不是第一章节而是直接看高潮部分的节选的感觉,这样很难第一时间产生代入感,因为对于文章的角色实在是太过于陌生了,让我缺乏想象的空间和场景情景的代入。
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +11 认真回复,奖励! 2021-9-9 07:52

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